Loving Others, No Matter What
Written by Andy Remec
From the September 4, 2024 issue of the Christian Science Sentinel
When I have a conflict with someone, I ask myself, “Can I call this person brother or sister and really mean it?”
With dissension in politics, families, workplaces, and more, we might ask, Are we destined to live with conflict? Are antagonistic relationships an inevitable part of life?
Turning to the Bible for answers on this subject has helped me considerably. Christ Jesus provided powerful guidance when he was asked what was the greatest commandment in the law. His answer was: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 22:37–39). Although spoken nearly two thousand years ago, these words still apply today. Loving God and our neighbor makes a profound difference in our lives and relationships. But how do we do this?
To better obey “the first and great” commandment, I have found that the most meaningful approach is to consistently check that my thoughts and actions are based on living my love for God. This includes looking at troubling personal, community, and world situations and affirming both God’s omnipresence and His governance of all involved. As I proceed through each day’s activities, I look for ways to actively express Godlike qualities, such as patience and respect for others. I express my love for God by putting aside a limited, material perspective of His creation and acknowledging God, good, as the only power and Mind.
Obeying this first great commandment naturally leads to obeying the second, since truly loving God requires loving His creation, which includes each individual. It might seem harder, however, to obey the commandment of loving our neighbor, especially when dealing with people who do not seem very lovable.
The Bible story about an early Christian named Ananias serves as a helpful example (see Acts 9:10–20). At the time, Saul, who would later become known as Paul, was persecuting Christians. Saul became blind after hearing Jesus’ voice directing him to go to Damascus and await next steps.
Meanwhile, Ananias, who was living in Damascus, heard Jesus’ voice in a vision instructing him to go to Saul and restore his sight. Although Ananias questioned this instruction because he knew the evils Saul had committed, he was obedient because of his love for and trust in God. The biblical account says, “And Ananias went his way, and entered into the house; and putting his hands on him said, Brother Saul, the Lord, even Jesus, that appeared unto thee in the way as thou camest, hath sent me, that thou mightest receive thy sight, and be filled with the Holy Ghost.”
For me, those two simple words, “Brother Saul,” speak volumes. They show how completely someone’s thought can be transformed through humbly following God’s direction. Ananias came to Saul not as an adversary but as a brother, a fellow child of God. How radically he went from fearing Saul and viewing him as evil to expressing love for him. Ananias must have felt the Christ—the true idea of God, whose healing presence and power underlay Jesus’ teachings and works. Christ must have touched Saul as well, because Saul not only regained his sight, but immediately became a follower of Christ. He went on to be pivotal in founding the Christian church and in showing others the remarkable healing and transforming capacity of Christ.
Emulating Ananias’ obedience to God and loving response to Saul has become a personal goal for me to strive for when I have a disagreement or conflict with someone. I ask myself, “Can I call this person brother or sister and really mean it?” If I am seeing them as a flawed mortal, then a radical shift of thought is required. And I can turn to the same Christ that inspired and guided Ananias. While we don’t know the specifics about how Ananias prayed, he must have glimpsed something of Saul’s true spiritual nature as a child of God, despite the evil things Saul had been doing.
Ananias’ example inspires me to pray and earnestly listen to God, divine Love, for guidance in dealing with contentious relationships. Here are some thoughts that have come to me as I’ve prayed: “Love others as I (God) love them, as perfect, spiritual expressions of Me, divine Spirit. See them as the unfoldment of infinite good in unique and valued ways. Acknowledge them as My perfect handiwork, without an element of mortality.” Not only have ideas such as these helped me love better, no matter how challenging the circumstances, but they have also helped me appreciate better who I am as God’s beloved son.
I had an opportunity a few years ago to apply these ideas in a modest way on a basketball court where I play regularly with a group of men. I noticed that one player competed more aggressively than the rest of us. Others spoke of his hostility. This made me wary of him. I knew that I should not accept any ungodlike quality as being part of this man’s true nature as God’s child, but my efforts in this direction were half-hearted. Then one day he did not approve of a couple of plays that I made and started criticizing me and pushing me around while we played. I started praying in earnest about this animosity and how I could better love this neighbor.
The first thing I thought of was a By-Law from the Manual of The Mother Church by Mary Baker Eddy that had been part of my prayers that morning. It concludes, “The members of this Church should daily watch and pray to be delivered from all evil, from prophesying, judging, condemning, counseling, influencing or being influenced erroneously” (p. 40). The words judging, condemning, and erroneously jumped out at me because I realized I had been doing exactly that. I knew, however, that I could correct these ungodlike thoughts through prayer. I prayerfully reasoned that God loved this individual and created him perfectly. If I judged him as belligerent and condemned him for it, I was breaking the commandments to love God and to love my neighbor as myself. I needed to change my view and see him as my brother in God’s family.